If it's a story about me, then I'll say so up front.

This is a blog about Truth, Justice and the American Way. The stories are true. No names have been changed to protect anyone's identity, including my own. If the story is about me, then I'll say so right up front. If I don't use a name to identify whom the story is about, then it's because it's not relevant. So please do not call me or e-mail me with your kind condolences or unwarranted congratulations about something that you believe is a cleverly disguised bio from my alter ego. These stories, like my photo, are unretouched.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

In Sympathy

I want to thank you for the sympathy cards and letters I have been receiving. The floral wreaths were nice, too. For those of you who were worried for my well-being, I want to assure you that I am doing better now and expect to live, even though I didn’t get the job.

Sure, I was excited about it. Certainly, I thought that the interview went pretty well, although in retrospect I suppose I should not have revealed my addiction to The Bachelor and Dancing With the Stars. I knew that the job required long days and some late nights and I just wanted to reassure the boss that I could tape those shows and watch them later. I should have kept my mouth shut.

I tried to dress in a businesslike manner, but maybe I overdressed. I’m not sure. I thought the glasses would make me look smarter and more serious but…… I just don’t know. Getting lost in the parking garage didn’t help either. Bummer!

It was a great job, too. It paid so little that when they warned me how low the salary was, I told them I didn’t want to know. Seriously. I knew that it would only depress me and the truth is, the money wasn’t the most important consideration, although, I’m sure my landlord would disagree. It was just a terrific, kick-ass job and it would have kept me out of the bars.

Long hours, lots of stress, low pay. Who could resist? Besides, it only lasted as long as the legislative session and then it would end. Most of us can do anything if we know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Working right in the middle of all that legislative action. Watching the trading and the voting and the lying and the lobbying and the poor legislators trying to do the right thing for their constituents during this lousy economic meltdown. It’s like watching a 24/7 poker game where everyone is bluffing and no one ever wins. What an education!

The people who ran the office were great, too. I knew the “big honcho,” although we are not best friends or anything. I hoped that would help. Maybe I do better with people who don’t know me.

I tried not to get my hopes up. My late mother-in-law would have been proud. Her motto in life was, “Don’t get your hopes up.” She taught it to her four boys and even though she is gone now, they still cling to the concept that the glass is always half empty. Maybe completely empty.

But in the end, I didn’t get the job. Bummer! If I discover that it went to some entry-level 22-year-old I am just going to slit my wrists.

By the way, tulips and daffodils with a somber black ribbon are always appropriate for situations like this, if you’re wondering…..

36 comments:

  1. I'm sorry that you didn't get the job that you wanted. I wish I could find this kind of humor in losing a job. And you are right about the entry level kid. Probably that's who they hired because then they don't have to feel guilty about the cheap pay.

    Let me guess: You were "overqualified." Right?

    Maggie Pope
    Phoenix, AZ

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  2. Sorry too about the job. BTW, I have to disagree with you on one thing. My glass is ALWAYS Half Full. I may struggle with figuring out how to top it off, but my glass is NEVER Half empty.

    Scott Murray Bate

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  3. Growing up I learned a different lesson about water and small containers. I was told that "you can drown in a teaspoon of water." I deduced that a half filled glass of water could wipe out an entire family!

    We all heard a lot of things that we don't believe. School officials said that sitting on the hallway floor with your head between your knees would protect you in the event of a nuclear attack. Imagine the potential for loss if they had distributed iodine drops in teaspoons to guard against radiation poisoning!

    It's really too bad about the job, Kay. Frankly, you deserve (and I think will get) a much bigger glass than one that only holds long hours, lots of stress, and low pay.

    Hang in there!

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  4. Did you really want a job with long hours, high stress and low pay? Really? That's your idea of a good time? You should get your head examined girl! LOL

    Max in Ventura

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  5. Kay,

    They probably had a rule "Don't Hire Anyone Who is Smarter than the Legislators" ...and since I've come to know you, I KNOW you are smarter than any living legislator today!!!

    Still, just for you, tomorrow will be an all black wardrobe day out of respect for your recent loss....as the tulips and daffodils aren't making a showing just yet.LOL

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  6. I'm going to agree with Mike in Redding. Even though I don't know you like he does, in solidarity I, too, am going to wear all black clothing tomorrow to assist with your mourning.

    Also, it seems like if Mike really cared he would wear black AND send the flowers. LOL

    Susan Riley
    St. Louis, MO

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  7. Oh, Kay! I know for a fact that the only reason you wanted that job was so that the reporters would snoop through your garbage to get the dirt on you. Well, actually, you were too cheap to pay for that PI to snoop on your husband and figured the reporters would find out what he's been up to. (Oops! Did I just say that out loud?) I'd send you the flowers, but the State of California has these friggin' rules about shipping organics out of state. It's the thought that counts, right?

    Liz
    LA, State of Denial

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    1. Liz, you are incorrigible! And since you already identified yourself as from LA, I think that the State of Denial was redundant. Ha!

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  8. Hi Kay, I'm sorry you didn't land that job. But I understand how you feel, I remember going through literally rejections upon rejections til it just became normal for me to accept that I'll just keep getting rejected.

    I did that for a year, and decided, fuck it. Why should I bend over backwards to please employers? So I ventured out and will do my own thing, and hopefully then, the tides will turn and employers will want my certain skills.

    Hope things work out though!
    Harrison

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  9. I am also currently job hunting and just had my first interview in years with a company that has a much younger work force. I have my fingers crossed hoping to get a second interview so I can relate.

    You have a very honest and casual way of writing that is refreshing to read.

    Best regards,
    John

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  10. I love the name of your blog and I love your writing. You made me laugh out loud. Sorry you didn't get the job, but I am sure there was a higher reason. Maybe it was just so you could go on entertaining me with your blog. Wouldn't want a job to get in the way of that. Keep up the great blogging, and keep the faith. You'll land where you're mean to be, and hopefully so will I.

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  11. I just discovered you and I have to tell you that this was so funny. Between the lines I could feel the fact that you are about 90% serious about how much you wanted this job and how disappointed you are in not getting it. I don't know what the job at the legislature was but never mind that. You should be writing for a living. Whoever they are, they were crazy not to want someone as funny as you are around all the time. Love your style.

    Markie B.

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  12. Great read! So glad that you're about truth, justice and the American way...You're right..."Long hours, lots of stress, low pay..." is the new American way...and yes, I believe that your job went to the 22-year old. Sad but true, so back away from the knives and keep them from your wrists.

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  13. What is wrong with you? You never, ever admit to watching The Bachelor or Dancing With the Stars. It's like admitting that you pick your nose. Everybody does it but nobody actually admits to it. No wonder you didn't get the job. I'm surprised that you weren't arrested. Sometimes I worry about you.

    Sam
    (I'm currently on assignment in Lima, Peru)

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    1. Sam, how did you get a great gig like Peru in the wintertime? I's gotta beat winter in Ontario. Send me a private email and catch me up. I'm jealous!

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  14. Great way of describing job hunting these days! There simply are not enough jobs for all the unemployed. And some HR departments are still under the impression that young people stay with a company for life!!

    Cheer up - doesn't sound as if you lost out on a great job. On the contrary.

    All the best
    Catarina

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    1. Catarina, In don't know how the job market is over there in Sweden, where you live. But here in the USA, it's tough going. Actually, everything I said about this job is true. And it would have been ideal for me because I have applied to law school and I would have learned a lot about how laws are REALLY made. Also the job was full-time, but would have ended before law school began next fall. So I really DID lose out on a great job working with terrific people.

      But, in truth, I wrote this piece as a way of poking fun at my own personal pity party and putting things into perspective for myself. It's not the end of the world. It's just an opportunity lost. There will be another.

      Delete
  15. I love the "no bullshit" sound in your voice. It's refreshing and I enjoyed your post. Things don't always work out and I firmly believe we dodge more bullets than we know of. Hopefully you'll get the gig next time.

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  16. Kay girl, sorry you didn't get that great job with the long hours and lousy pay. I can read between the lines and tell that you really wanted that job. I have been there, done that, worn that T-Shirt. It used to upset me but I then I came to the conclusion: "You don't want me, I don't need you". A lot of big companies have shifted their way of thinking the way they hire people. They don't look for experience anymore, they want young college kids, fresh out of school who they can mold to their way of doing business. Their way of thinking is "We can teach them the job". There is just a little flaw in this philosophy "Who will teach them the job?" Another college kid? Pretty soon the clueless will be training the clueless. Let's face it, some jobs come with years of experience and looking at the whole picture, for example how what you do affects another department.I'm an "Endangered Specie" where I work. There are a handful of people over 50, most of them are below 30.

    Gabriele W., Amarillo Texas

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    1. Gaby, I also happen to know that the "kids" who work for you are crazy about you. If they weren't, they wouldn't tease you so much. You landed in just the right place, girlfriend, even thought it did require a move from your beloved Louisiana.

      Delete
  17. Honestly - would you want this job, or an unsuccessful attempt at getting it that led to a great blog?

    See? I knew you'd see it my way. You're welcome.

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  18. Kay, It is a pleasure to meet you and read your blog though I'm saddened it is over this unfortunate news. That said, I'm a big believer that your must be destined for something bigger and better and it must be coming your way!

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  19. I'm dying to know what this job was that you wanted so badly.. but I'm glad that you still have time to write your hilarious blog instead.

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  20. This is awesome. I think you should go on lots of really bad job interviews and then write about it. In fact, that could be a whole blog by itself. Who knows where it could go?!

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  21. Kay -- my attitude is that any company would be lucky to have me. Don't give up. Always go in with that attitude. Sorry you didn't get the job. But another opportunity is always on the horizon.

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  22. If I was you I would consider it a lucky escape, you'll find a better job. My husbands boss was recently looking to hire a secretary, he interviewed two people for the job, one was mature, conscientious and very driven on the green energy they are promoting with a science background. The other young, slim, petite just engaged and...yes you guessed it a double D!...Guess who got the job?! My husband and I just shook our heads and said little did the mature lady realize just what a lucky escape she'd had!

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    1. Claire, I think that you are inferring that I am "mature." You couldn't be farther from the truth. I am really quite immature. Also, I am old. :)

      Delete
  23. You know what, I can certainly relate to this post. I tested the market myself and interviewed with two competitors to see if the grass is greener on the other side. Both positions are considered lateral moves. I thought I aced both interviews, and never received the courtesy of a call. Stay motivated and never settle! I talk about how I found focus and clarity on my blog:


    fromjaystobrooks.com

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    1. In the interests of honesty here, I need to state that in addition to being notified in a very timely manner that I did not get the job, I received not one but two (2) personal handwritten notes (one from each of the interviewers) thanking me for my interest and telling me how much they enjoyed meeting me. When was the last time you saw a handwritten thank you note from an interviewer? Their mothers would be so proud!

      That is one of the reasons that I am so disappointed. Who wouldn't want to work with women who are so nice? They were terrific.

      Delete
  24. I laughed out loud at this post...especially your late mother-in-law's motto. Sorry about the job, but you have the kind of spirit that will carry on, or at the very least blog about it until you feel better. All the best.

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  25. Kay, I recently joined the Bloggers helping Bloggers group on LinkedIn and it is nice to step into your blog parlor. I am sorry this didn't work out. I've been chasing a dream job for quite sometime, a freeze is ongoing at this organisation and I have to wait for this glacier to melt. Hope global warming can speed up this process. Instead of tulips and daffodils tied with a black ribbon, I am sending you a cupcake
    http://www.yummyinyourtummycakes.co.uk/ekmps/shops/chayasoochit/images/12-cheer-up-face-cupcakes-192-p.jpg
    I hope to find a suitable job soon.

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  26. In the end, life experience and perceptive intellect are the characteristics that cheated you out of this job. You know too much, you're too street smart, you have a very sensitive bull-shit antennae and you don't suffer fools. You would think all of these attributes would hold you in good stead.

    Wrong.

    This means you would have been a disruptive force among the people you would have worked for and with. The 22-year-old entry level person will just do what he or she is told to do without any understanding beyond what supervisors choose to share. Those fine folks who interviewed you were just trying to cover their asses with the politicians who employ them 12 months a year, year in and year out and have always demonstrated their ability to play the game. No matter your qualifications, no one was willing to take the chance with someone who would quickly figure out what was really going on; someone whose POLITICAL bonafides had never been thoroughly tested.

    The only way someone of your fully-qualified background would have gotten that job would be to have had a personal "Chinaman" going to bat for you. I suspect you lived in Chicago long enough to know that isn't some sort of an ethnic slur, but the description of a political insider with clout.

    You're better off without the damn job.

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    1. Holy moley, Mr. Farley!

      You are clearly a LOT more bitter about my not getting this job than I am. Whassup with that? Have you had a similar experience and are "projecting" a bit? (Well, OK, more than a bit.)

      Me a disruptive force? Little ole me with my blonde curls and my big smile and my smart mouth? Jeepers!

      HEY EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP! I'M NOT MAD. I'M NOT BITTER. IT WAS A JOKE, FOLKS!! I was making fun of myself and my personal little pity party about not getting to do something I thought would be challenging and fun. STOP FEELING ANGRY OR SORRY FOR ME. I don't feel those things. Why should you? My big problem right now is that I don't have enough clean underwear. And to understand why, you'll just have to read my next blog post.

      I'm OK. Really.

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  27. Sorry. I just have to fight injustice wherever it raises its ugly head. And just like Whack-a-Mole, there's seems no end to the number of times its ugly head ascends these days.

    P.S. I'm not sure I want to read a blog about clean underwear.

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  28. I think you're looking in the wrong places for work! Find some publication with a sense of style and write a daily column for them. It would be hugely successful for sure! :)

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